A private call with each side
Scheduled close to the session, so what you tell me is still how you feel when we meet.
4.9
·
285+ Google reviews
·
St. Paul, MN
Parents & grandparents · 100% on Zoom
Grandparent visitation, worked out together.
- One neutral mediator for the parents and the grandparents
- A private call with each side, then one written agreement
- One 3-hour session on Zoom · $3,000 flat, for everyone$1,500 per side, split 50/50
You’ll talk with Ryan McLaughlin.I don’t take sides. I help the two sides reach a mutual agreement.
Rather text first? Tap a question and it goes to my phone:
How it goes
- 1
A free 15-minute call. Each side can have their own, separately.
- 2
A private call with each side, then written questions for everyone.
- 3
One three-hour session on Zoom, aiming for an agreement in writing.
or call (763) 316‑8323
What a visitation agreement
usually sorts out
You don't need answers to any of this before you call. Each one goes on the table, and what you decide about it belongs to the people at the table.
- The scheduleHow often visits happen, how long they last, and which months or weekends they fall on, written down so nobody has to renegotiate it every season.
- TravelWhere visits happen, who drives, who pays for gas or flights, and what happens when the roads close.
- HolidaysBirthdays, holidays, school events and the family traditions that matter to someone at the table.
- Between visitsPhone and video calls with the kids, how often, and at what times of day.
- How the adults talkWho's on the group text, how fast people answer, and how a plan gets changed without starting a fight.
- Who's involvedNew partners, other relatives, anyone who's part of the kids' days. Who takes part in visits and in the conversation is everyone's decision.
Already have a court order? It stays exactly as it is while you mediate. If everyone agrees on a change, the written agreement is usually taken back to the court as a joint request to amend the order. I don't interpret orders; your own attorney can.
Our three-part process
The Flannel Three-Part Process, for the whole family
Same order as every Flannel mediation. Nothing is scheduled until everyone has said yes.
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Part 1 · The one-on-ones
Each side · private · by phone
I meet with each side, separately.
You tell me your side and what you think will be hard. The other side does the same. It's less pressure than a group, and everyone has heard my voice before we're all on one screen.
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Part 2 · Written intake
Before you meet · shared with everyone
The hard questions, ahead of time.
My standard grandparent-visitation questions, plus a heads-up on anything from the private calls worth thinking about first. Nobody meets a hard question for the first time in the middle of the session.
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Part 3 · The session
3 hours · Zoom · usually within a week
Talk it through. Write it down.
Everyone on one call, with evenings and weekends available. The goal is an agreement everyone can live with, and then putting it in writing.
Outside the private calls, every email and text goes to everyone. Nobody has to wonder what I'm telling the other side.
Free 15-min call · No obligation · No credit card
What $3,000 covers
Everything below, flat, for everyone. No retainer, no hourly billing, no meter on calls and emails.
Written intake for everyone
The same questions on everyone's screen, plus a heads-up on what's likely to be hard, before anyone is in a room together.
One three-hour session, over Zoom
Neutral the whole way through. I make sure every question gets asked and every person gets heard. The answers belong to the family.
Split it however you like
One invoice, or two payment links of $1,500 if you're splitting it 50/50. It doesn't matter to me who pays what.
Your real options, side by side
Hourly mediators do good work. The difference is what's on the meter.
| What you get | Flannel | Hourly mediator | Back to court |
|---|---|---|---|
| What it costs | $3,000 flat, for everyone | Hourly; the total depends on the hours | Filing fees, plus attorneys if you hire them |
| Built to keep things as amicable as possible | ✓ | ✓ | Each side argues its own case |
| A method with a name and an order: private calls, written intake, one session | ✓ | Varies | — |
| A private call with each side first | ✓ | Varies | ✗ |
| No meter on prep, calls, and emails | ✓ | Billed | Varies |
| One neutral person working with everyone | ✓ | ✓ | ✗ |
| The family makes the decisions | ✓ | ✓ | A judge, if it's contested |
| 100% remote, wherever the grandkids live | ✓ | Varies | Varies |
| Legal advice about your rights | ✗ | ✗ | From your own attorney |
That last row is real. I don't give legal advice or tell anyone what their court order means. If someone wants advice about their own rights, have an attorney review the agreement before it's signed or filed. That's a very different bill from each side paying one to argue.
Free 15-min call · No obligation · No credit card
What clients say
4.9 stars across 285+ Google reviews.
★★★★★
"My ex and I were looking for some help to resolve a stalemate, Ryan was fantastic. Balanced and fair."
★★★★★
"He didn’t take sides or overcomplicate things, but instead helped keep both parties grounded and focused on decisions."
★★★★★
"I could tell he truly cared for us both as a neutral party to accomplish our objectives and feel good about the outcome."
Meet your mediator
The person who'll be on every call.
Ryan McLaughlin
Professional Mediator · Flannel People Mediation
Ryan is trained in facilitative, restorative, and transformative mediation, and his practice is built on conflict research. He works with divorcing couples, co-parents, siblings and grandparents. His sessions are structured but calm. He keeps things moving without taking sides, so everyone leaves feeling heard. Based in St. Paul, working with families remotely.
Common questions
$3,000, flat, for the whole process and everyone in it. It covers a private call with each side, the written intake, one three-hour session on Zoom, and your written agreement. It doesn't matter to me how the fee is split. Most families split it 50/50, and I send two payment links of $1,500. One person paying all of it is fine too.
No. Your current order stays exactly as it is while you mediate. If everyone agrees on a change, the signed agreement is usually taken back to the court, often by the attorneys, as a joint request to amend the order. Until a court does that, the existing order is what counts.
Everyone the decision belongs to, and only with everyone's agreement. Usually that's the parent or parents and the grandparents. Sometimes a new partner is part of the kids' daily life and someone wants them at the table; that only happens if everyone agrees. On the practical side, it helps when every decision-maker is in the room, so nobody has to go home and check with someone who wasn't there.
No. I'm a mediator, not anyone's attorney, so I don't interpret court orders or give legal advice. What I can do is make sure the question gets written down, and each of you can take it to your own attorney. The decisions in mediation belong to the people at the table.
No, though they're welcome. Most families mediate without them. Some people keep an attorney on call during the session, or have one review the agreement afterward. If either side wants that, it's a good idea, and it doesn't slow anything down.
Yes. The private calls and the session all happen on Zoom, so grandparents in Minnesota and a parent in North Dakota can be in the same session without anyone driving. If Zoom is new to someone, we'll do a five-minute test first.
Mediation is voluntary, so getting everyone to say yes is the biggest hurdle, bigger than anything decided in the session. You can book the free call on your own and send this page to the other side. They get their own private call with me before anything is scheduled. If they still say no after that call, mediation isn't the tool, and I'll say so.
For the other side
They get their own call, too.
The hardest part is usually the first message. You don't have to explain how mediation works from memory. Send them this page. They get the same free fifteen minutes, privately, with me, and nothing gets scheduled until everyone has said yes.
Not ready to book a call?
Most families sit with this for a while before they call anyone. If you have one question, what it costs, what happens to your order, how to bring it up, text it. I answer these myself.
To: Ryan · (763) 316-8323 Hi Ryan, I have a question about grandparent visitation mediation:Tap the message to open it in your texting app. Goes to Ryan's actual phone, not a call center.
Start with a free 15-minute call.
No obligation. No pressure. Bring the situation as it is, not a perfect summary. You'll leave knowing whether mediation makes sense for your family.
Here's what happens on the call:
- 1 I'll ask about your situation
- 2 I'll tell you honestly if mediation fits
- 3 If it does, I'll explain exactly how it works and how to book
Fifteen minutes. You'll know by the end of it.
Pick a time that works for you.
Free 15-minute call. No commitment. See available times below.
No time here works, or you can't talk privately during the day? Text me instead.
Not ready to pick a time?
That's normal. Leave your email and the one thing you're most worried about. Ryan will reply personally. No scheduling required.