Flannel People

The Science of Divorce & Health

Your Divorce Process Could Cost You 5 Years of Your Life

Research tracking 6.5 million people shows prolonged divorce increases mortality risk by 23%—worse than smoking. Here's the science, and how to protect yourself.

For You:

  • •What's happening to your body right now
  • •Why 18 months of litigation shortens your lifespan
  • •How to complete divorce mediation in one day instead
  • •Specific practices to protect your health

For Professionals:

  • •Comprehensive research review with citations
  • •Evidence-based health-protective protocols
  • •Implementation frameworks
  • •Consultation opportunities
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The Numbers•What's Happening•Solution•References

The Research: Four Decades of Data

This isn't opinion or metaphor. This is peer-reviewed science published in journals like Circulation, Perspectives on Psychological Science, and Brain, Behavior, and Immunity, tracking millions of people over decades.

0%

Increased risk of early death

Meta-analysis, 6.5M people, 11 countries

0 Years

Average lifespan reduction

High-conflict divorce vs. amicable

0%

Heart attack risk increase

After 2+ divorces (24% after one)

0 Years

Suppressed immune function

20% higher risk chronic disease

Key Insight:

The damage isn't from divorce itself—it's from chronic stress during prolonged, high-conflict processes. Duration is the determining variable. One 3-hour mediation vs. 18 months of litigation isn't just faster and cheaper—it's the difference between acute stress your body can handle and chronic stress that measurably shortens your life.

Comparison: Traditional vs. Health-Protective

Traditional Litigation

  • Duration: 12-18 months
  • Stress: 547 days elevated cortisol
  • Impact: Chronic immune suppression
  • Result: Measurably shorter lifespan

Flannel People Method

  • Duration: 3 hours (one session)
  • Stress: 1 day elevated cortisol
  • Impact: Normal recovery
  • Result: Protected health

What's Actually Happening to Your Body Right Now

While you're worrying about custody and assets, here's what's happening inside your body. These aren't metaphors—these are measurable physiological changes.

Your Heart

Women who divorce twice have heart attack risk similar to smokers or diabetics

The mechanism:

  1. Chronic stress activates your stress response
  2. Your bone marrow produces excess inflammatory cells
  3. These cells travel through your bloodstream
  4. They attach to artery walls, creating plaques
  5. Plaques narrow arteries → heart attack risk

By age 60:

  • • 33% of divorced women have cardiovascular disease
  • • vs. 21.5% of married women
[+] Research Detail (for professionals)

Chronic stress increases bone marrow leukopoietic proliferation through β-adrenergic signaling. Elevated norepinephrine signals increased white blood cell production. These inflammatory cells express proinflammatory genes and cytokines (IL-6, TNF-α), potentiating atherosclerosis. Neuroimaging shows direct amygdala-bone marrow-arterial pathway predicting major adverse cardiovascular events (MACE).

Sources: Tawakol et al., Circulation; Dupre et al., 2015

Your Immune System

Your cancer defense stays compromised for up to 2 years after divorce

What happens:

Your Natural Killer cells—your body's first line of defense against cancer and viruses—go offline. For up to two years after divorce, divorced adults show:

  • • Significantly lower NK cell activity (cancer defense compromised)
  • • Higher Epstein Barr virus levels (dormant viruses reactivate)
  • • Slower wound healing
  • • More frequent infections
  • • 20% higher risk of chronic disease

Why: Your immune system prioritizes immediate survival over long-term defense. Short-term, this helps. Long-term, it devastates your body's ability to fight cancer, infections, and disease.

[+] Research Detail (for professionals)

Chronic stress affects HPA axis regulation, sympathetic nervous system activation, and inflammatory cytokine profiles. Sustained cortisol elevation leads to glucocorticoid resistance and immunosuppression. Studies show accelerated immune aging, telomere shortening, and increased cellular senescence.

Sources: Kiecolt-Glaser et al., 1987; Brain, Behavior, and Immunity

Your Brain

Brain changes during divorce look similar to cocaine withdrawal

What MRI studies show:

  • • Decreased activity in regions controlling reasoning
  • • Increased activity in addiction/craving centers
  • • Physical changes in brain structure
  • • Impaired decision-making ability
  • • Heightened emotional reactivity

Why this matters for your divorce:

When your brain is in this state, you're more likely to make decisions that:

  • • Prolong the conflict
  • • Increase costs
  • • Harm your children
  • • Damage your health further

Translation: Your brain during divorce is actively working against your best interests. You need a process designed to protect you from yourself.

Why Duration Is Everything

The key finding across all this research: It's not divorce that kills you. It's prolonged, high-conflict divorce.

Acute stress (hours/days):

Your body can handle this. It's designed for it.

Chronic stress (months/years):

This is what causes measurable damage to your cardiovascular system, immune function, and brain.

The Math:

Average litigated divorce: 547 days of elevated cortisol

Flannel People mediation: 1 day of elevated cortisol

546 days of stress × your body = measurable health damage

"Living a large portion of your adult life as separated or divorced confers considerable risk for all-cause mortality. The risk was greater than the long-term risk conferred by regular cigarette smoking in 1960."

— Charleston Heart Study (40-year longitudinal study)

The Health-Protective Alternative

Knowing what divorce does to your body, we designed our process specifically to minimize stress duration while maximizing outcomes.

One Day

Most divorces reach a full agreement in a single 3-hour session.

Evidence-Based

Process designed around the research. Structured to protect emotional regulation.

Protected Health

85% completion rate. Clients report feeling relieved, not traumatized. No chronic stress.

Process Overview

Traditional Litigation

  1. 1. File papers
  2. ↓ (3 months)
  3. 2. Discovery
  4. ↓ (4 months)
  5. 3. Negotiations
  6. ↓ (6 months)
  7. 4. Court dates
  8. ↓ (5 months)
  9. 5. Final hearing
  10. ↓
  11. 6. Done

Timeline: 18+ months

Cost: $15,000-$50,000

Health impact: Severe

Flannel People Mediation

  1. 1. Book session
  2. ↓ (3 days)
  3. 2. Prepare with worksheet
  4. ↓
  5. 3. Complete 3-hour session
  6. ↓
  7. 4. File papers/court process (client responsibility)
  8. ↓
  9. 5. Done

Timeline: 1-2 weeks

Cost: $1,590 total

Health impact: Minimal

What You Get:

  • • Complete divorce settlement in one 3-hour session
  • • Parenting plan, asset division
  • • $795 per person (flat fee, no surprises)
  • • Virtual (from your own home, no courthouse)
  • • Evidence-based process protecting your health

"I was dreading months of fighting and lawyer bills. We completed everything in one session. I actually felt hopeful afterward instead of destroyed."

— Sarah M., Minneapolis

For Mediators, Therapists & Attorneys

If you work with divorcing clients, this research should inform your practice. The health consequences of prolonged divorce are severe and well-documented.

Research Consultation

Need expert perspective on divorce health research for:

  • • Client education materials
  • • Training programs
  • • Conference presentations
  • • Practice protocols

Process Design

Looking to implement health-protective mediation:

  • • One-session completion frameworks
  • • Stress-minimizing procedures
  • • Evidence-based protocols
  • • Client communication strategies

Speaking & Training

Available for:

  • • Conference keynotes
  • • Professional training
  • • Practice consultations
  • • Research review sessions

Research Citations

Every claim on this page is backed by peer-reviewed research. Key sources:

Mortality & Lifespan:

  • • Sbarra, D.A., Law, R.W., & Portley, R.M. (2011). Divorce and death: A meta-analysis and research agenda for clinical, social, and health psychology. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 6(5), 454-474.
  • • Martin, L.R., & Friedman, H.S. (2005). The Longevity Project. Health Psychology.
  • • Charleston Heart Study (40-year longitudinal). Greater mortality risk than smoking in 1960.

Cardiovascular Health:

  • • Dupre, M.E., et al. (2015). Association of divorce and widowhood with myocardial infarction risk. Journal of Marriage and Family.
  • • Tawakol, A., et al. (Various). Amygdalar activity and cardiovascular events. Circulation: Cardiovascular Imaging.
  • • Zhang, Z., & Hayward, M.D. (2006). Gender, the marital life course, and cardiovascular disease in late midlife. Journal of Marriage and Family, 68(3), 639-657.

Immune System:

  • • Kiecolt-Glaser, J.K., et al. (1987). Marital quality, marital disruption, and immune function. Psychosomatic Medicine, 49(1), 13-34.
  • • Kiecolt-Glaser, J.K., et al. (2003). Chronic stress and age-related increases in the proinflammatory cytokine IL-6. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 100(15), 9090-9095.

Neuroscience:

  • • Fisher, H., et al. (2010). Reward, addiction, and emotion regulation systems associated with rejection in love. Journal of Neurophysiology, 104(1), 51-60.
  • • Studies on brain states during divorce showing decreased prefrontal activity, increased addiction-center activation.

Stress Mechanisms:

  • • Multiple studies on cortisol, norepinephrine, inflammatory cytokines, HPA axis dysregulation
  • • Research on chronic stress effects on bone marrow, leukopoiesis, atherosclerosis

Full bibliography available upon request for academic/professional use.

Ready to Protect Your Health While Completing Your Divorce?

For Clients:

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