Your Mediators · Ryan & Kate McLaughlin
Real people.
Real results.
We wear flannel. We cite research. We get results. Meet the mediators who help families resolve conflict and move forward.
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About Ryan
Founder & Mediator
Ryan McLaughlin is a trained mediator with a deep grounding in conflict neuroscience and a single professional conviction: most people are far more capable of resolving their own disputes than the legal system gives them credit for.
He founded Flannel People Mediation because he kept watching couples spend tens of thousands of dollars on adversarial legal processes they didn't need. Most people don't need a courtroom. They need someone who can hold a difficult conversation steady while both people find their way through it.
His Philosophy
Most people walk into conflict thinking something is wrong with them. Or wrong with the other person. Ryan doesn't buy that. When two people are fighting, their brains are doing exactly what brains are supposed to do — protecting them. The problem isn't character. It's chemistry. Change the chemistry in the room, and people who couldn't agree on anything start building something together.
Credentials
- ✓4.9 Stars — 285+ Google Reviews
- ✓Trained in Facilitative, Restorative & Transformative Mediation
- ✓Informed by Neuroscience & Conflict Research
- ✓Master of Fine Arts — Creative Writing
Ryan is a mediator; he doesn't practice law or give legal advice.
Kate
Mediator
Kate is a trained restorative mediator who handles divorce, couples, family, and business mediations.
Before broadening into all forms of conflict resolution, she specialized in family mediation—helping siblings navigate inheritance, elder care decisions, and multi-generational disputes. That foundation shaped her understanding of how systems work and why people get stuck.
Now she brings that lens to every mediation: understanding the patterns, the attachments, and the ways forward. Whether it's a couple divorcing, a business partnership dissolving, or a family in conflict, she helps people see the system they're in and find their way through.
She's also a mom of three, which means she understands the messy reality of parenting through hard transitions.
Credentials
- ✓Qualified Neutral under Rule 114 of the Minnesota General Rules of Practice
- ✓Trained Restorative Mediator
What working with us actually looks like
No retainer, no billable hours, no waiting on a court date.
A written intake, then a conversation with each of you
Separately, and privately. You each get to say the thing you would not say in front of the other person before anyone sits down together.
One three-hour session
Usually on Zoom, with in-person options available on request, for an additional fee. Three hours is long enough to get through the hard parts and short enough that nobody is negotiating on an empty tank.
Working toward a written agreement
Mediation produces the agreement — the filing is a separate step, and we will tell you plainly what it involves.
One flat fee, agreed before we start. See divorce mediation pricing.
Ready to talk to one of us?
Free 15-minute consultation. No obligation, no credit card, and you can book it alone if you're the one who found this first.
Book Free ConsultationWhat Our Clients Say
Don't just take our word for it. Here's what families say about working with us.
Based on 285+ Google Reviews
All 84 written reviews from mediation clients since February 2024 are on our reviews page, in full.
Read all 84 client reviewsOr verify them yourself on GoogleHighly recommend Ryan and Flannel People. I was very anxious about divorce mediation but Ryan's calm, neutral demeanor completely changed the tone within the first five minutes. He kept potentially high-tension conversations focused on entirely productive solutions. We walked away with agreements in place leaving me feeling grounded and making the road ahead feel much more manageable. If you need a mediator who can deliver results smoothly look no further.
Sara L.
Verified Google Review
Ryan's reply
Thanks so much, Sara! First, the anxiety before the first session is the part almost nobody talks about, and you named it. A huge part of our process is engineering; how do we take this anxiety and channel it productively pre-mediation, and then attend to it functionally during mediation. So, for folks scrolling through these reviews at night, If divorce mediation is on your mind and the nerves/anxiety/Ahhhh!! feeling are the thing stopping you, that's normal. Reach out, let's talk. Ryan McLaughlin | Flannel People Mediation | Divorce mediation in Saint Paul and across Minnesota.
The services offered by Flannel People Mediation and in particular, by Ryan were phenomenal. Ryan reached out to each of us and both of us multiple times leading up to the day of our mediation. We could not have reached an agreement that we did without his assistance, compassion, and professionalism. I would say that if you would like to do divorce with compassion and respect for the other person as a human, this is the way to go. Thank you, Ryan!
Alison G.
Verified Google Review
Ryan's reply
Alison, thank you for this — and for doing the prep work with me. The process is built in three parts for exactly this reason: separate conversations with each of you first, then the joint session, then the agreement. Almost nobody walks in cold that way. After many, many mediations, I’ve learned that “amicable” divorce that so many folks hope for isn’t a personality type; it’s a series of micro-choices that stack atop one another and cumulatively move the needle. I’m so glad the process design landed with you 🙏 Ryan McLaughlin | Flannel People Mediation | Virtual divorce mediation across Minnesota
Simple and easy way to come up with a plan and get support while preparing for a divorce. Ryan was helpful in answering questions and explaining the process and to my surprise we finished in one session and are both feeling ready to move forward!
Hannah V.
Verified Google Review
Ryan's reply
Hannah, thank you so much for this. That surprise you felt about finishing in one session? I hear that a lot — and honestly, it never gets old. Most people come in bracing for something long and painful, and then they realize it doesn't have to be that way. You and your spouse showed up ready to have real conversations, and that made all the difference. My job was just to bring the structure and keep things moving forward. You two did the work. Wishing you both nothing but clarity and peace as you move into this next chapter. And if anyone in your world is dreading the divorce process and doesn't know where to start — tell them it can actually look like this.
Ryan provided a structured, low-pressure environment to help us navigate a very difficult situation. This wasn’t traditional counseling—it was a focused, facilitated conversation that helped clarify next steps without forcing outcomes. What stood out was his ability to keep the discussion calm, direct, and productive, even when emotions were high. He didn’t take sides or overcomplicate things, but instead helped keep both parties grounded and focused on decisions. If you’re feeling stuck or in limbo and need a way to have a clear, guided conversation about where things are headed, this type of mediation is a helpful option.
Ann S.
Verified Google Review
Ryan's reply
Thank you for taking the time to share this. "Calm, direct, and productive" is exactly what I'm going for—especially when the stakes are high and emotions are real. I'm glad the process felt grounded rather than forced. For anyone reading: this is what mediation is designed to do. Not to push you toward a particular outcome, but to help you have the conversation that's been hard to have on your own. Wishing you both clarity as you move forward.
My ex and I were looking for some help to resolve a stalemate, Ryan was fantastic. Balanced and fair. He helped us virtually (though it did feel cosy and connected) and we were able to come to a resolution and steps forward that will only strengthen our co-parenting.
Philip G.
Verified Google Review
Ryan's reply
Thank you so much for sharing this — it really means a lot. Co-parenting after a separation is a tricky salmon stream to navigate, and the fact that you both came in ready to work through that stalemate says a lot about both of you. And....I'm glad the virtual mediation still felt personal and connected — that's something I work hard to create, even through a screen. Divorce and family conflict doesn't have to be cold litigation or anger adversarial. Wishing you both nothing but strength and clarity as you move forward in your co-parenting journey. ✌️
Mediation - It works even if you are unsure what you really want or how to get there. Opening a dialogue through a neutral party was the furthest thing from my mind to begin, but it was the right thing for our situation. I like to talk & think. I was given very ample opportunity to do both. Ryan is a first class individual.
Bill B.
Verified Google Review
Ryan's reply
Bill, thank you! A lot of people arrive at mediation unsure — and that uncertainty is actually a good starting point. The process creates space to think and talk, and you did both. Grateful you trusted the process. 🙏
The questions people ask before they call
My spouse won't agree to mediation. Is there any point in me calling?
Plenty of people find us first and call on their own — you can book the free consultation by yourself, and most of the couples we work with started exactly that way. We will not contact your spouse or pressure anyone into the room. What we can do is tell you honestly how the process works so that whatever you decide next, you are deciding it with real information instead of a guess.
Is what we agree to actually binding?
Mediation produces a written agreement, not a decree. It becomes binding through the court process, which is a separate step after our work together. We are neutral — we do not represent either of you and we do not give either of you legal advice — and either of you is free to have an attorney review the agreement before you sign it. We will never suggest otherwise.
What happens if we get stuck on something?
You are not required to settle everything, and nothing gets decided for you. Couples reach a full agreement on most of it and carve out one or two items to keep working on more often than people expect. Getting stuck on a single question is not a failed mediation — it is usually just the question that needed the most room.
Do we still need lawyers?
That is your call, and it is a reasonable one to make either way. Some people bring a consulting attorney in to review things; some do not. Because we are the neutral, we cannot advise either of you on that — but we can tell you what we are and are not able to do, which is usually the information people are actually missing when they ask.
Get in Touch
Have questions? We'd love to hear from you. Send us a message and we'll respond as soon as possible.
Phone
(763) 316-8323Location
971 Sibley Memorial Hwy, St Paul, MN 55118
Most sessions are on Zoom. In-person options may be available on request, for an additional fee.
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Schedule a free 15-minute consultation. No commitment, just a conversation to see if we're a good fit.
Book Free ConsultationEducational Disclaimer: This page is for general educational purposes only and reflects the perspective of a mediator. It is not legal advice. Flannel People Mediation is a mediation service provider only — we do not provide legal, financial, tax, or therapeutic advice. Every situation is different and we do not know yours. For advice about your specific circumstances, please talk to a qualified attorney.
Flannel People Mediation provides mediation services only. Ryan McLaughlin does not provide legal, insurance, valuation, tax, financial, or business advice, and mediation does not replace your own counsel or advisors.