Watch: is a mediated agreement binding?
The short answer
- What it is: post-decree mediation is a structured conversation with one neutral about changing an order you already have — the schedule, the holidays, decision-making, relocation, or how support-related questions get handled.
- What it costs: $995 per person, flat. Filing a motion in an existing family case is a separate $100 court fee under Minnesota Statutes section 357.021.
- How long it takes: a private conversation with each of you, then one three-hour session together. Most people are done in one to two weeks.
- What it does not do: the mediator does not decide anything and does not give legal advice. An attorney prepares the stipulated modification, and the court still has to approve it.
By Ryan McLaughlin, Mediator, MFA. Last updated August 2026.
A decree is a snapshot of what made sense on the day it was signed. Then someone takes a job with different hours, or a kid starts middle school, or one household moves forty minutes away, and the document stops describing your actual life.
The familiar next move is a motion. That works, and sometimes it is the only thing that will. But it puts a judge who has never met your children in charge of their Tuesdays, on a calendar you do not control, at a cost nobody can quote you up front.
Mediation runs the other direction. One neutral, both parents, the specific thing that needs to change, worked through until there is language concrete enough for an attorney to file. You can still have a lawyer read it before anyone signs. Most people find that order — agree first, review second — costs far less than litigating their way to the same place.
When post-decree mediation helps
Circumstances change. The parenting plan should be able to change with them.
Schedule changes
New job, different hours, or kids' activities that no longer fit the parenting schedule.
Relocation
One parent needs to move for work or family, and the parenting plan has to change with it.
Children's changing needs
As kids grow, school schedules, activities, and their own preferences evolve.
Holidays and vacations
Revise how holidays, school breaks, and summers divide between two households.
Communication breakdowns
Set clearer protocols for how co-parents reach each other and make decisions.
Financial changes
Job changes, income shifts, or expense adjustments that affect support arrangements.
Three ways a decree actually gets changed
The difference between these is not mainly the price. It is who ends up deciding.
| Path | Who decides | Cost | Timeline |
|---|---|---|---|
| Mediation with Flannel | The two of you | $995 per person, flat | Usually one to two weeks |
| Two attorneys negotiating | The two of you, through advocates | Hourly, not knowable up front | Months, depending on the other side |
| A motion in front of a judge | The judge | $100 to file, plus professional time | The court's calendar, not yours |
The $100 motion fee is set by Minnesota Statutes section 357.021. No Minnesota court publishes an average cost for a contested modification, so any figure you find online for that is an estimate rather than a measurement. Everything past the filing fee is professional time, and professional time is driven by conflict.
How it works
- 1
Free 15-minute call
You tell me what has actually changed since the decree. I tell you whether mediation fits. If it does not, I say so on that call.
- 2
A private conversation with each of you
Each person talks to me separately first, plus a written intake. By the time you sit down together, I already know where the pressure is.
- 3
One three-hour session
Both of you, one neutral, the specific thing that needs to change. You leave with it written down, ready for an attorney to prepare as a stipulated modification.
Because you are changing an existing order, the agreement still goes to the court for approval, and an attorney prepares the stipulated modification. Neither of those runs on my calendar.
One we handle often
One of you wants your child’s therapy to continue. One of you wants it to stop.
There is no halfway version of it, which is why it doesn’t resolve on its own. We have a structured process for this specific deadlock.
Read how we work through itReady to update the order?
Fifteen minutes on the phone is enough to tell whether mediation fits your situation. If it does not, I will say so on that call.
Book a Free 15-Minute CallWhen mediation is not the right call
Mediation depends on both people being able to speak freely and participate honestly. When there are safety concerns, an active order for protection, coercion, or a parent who will not disclose or engage, the process cannot do its job — and pretending otherwise does real harm.
If something is urgent, the court is the right venue and speed matters more than tone. Part of a neutral’s job is naming that early rather than billing through it.
Frequently asked questions about post-decree mediation
What is post-decree mediation?
Post-decree mediation helps divorced or separated parents modify or clarify existing court orders when circumstances change. Rather than returning to court, mediation provides a faster, less expensive, and less adversarial way to update custody arrangements, parenting time, or support agreements.
How much does post-decree mediation cost?
Post-decree mediation is $995 per person, flat. No hourly billing and no retainer, so the number is knowable before you start rather than after it ends. Filing a motion in an existing family case is a separate $100 court fee under Minnesota Statutes section 357.021, and if you have an attorney draft the stipulated modification, that is billed separately too.
How long does post-decree mediation take?
A private conversation with each of you first, plus a written intake, then one three-hour session together. Most people are done in one to two weeks. If the agreement changes an existing court order, the court's approval runs on the court's timeline rather than mine.
When should I consider post-decree mediation?
Common reasons include: a parent relocating, changes in work schedules, children's changing needs as they grow, disagreements about interpreting the original decree, requests to modify custody or parenting time, changes in financial circumstances affecting support, or co-parenting communication breakdowns.
Can we modify our divorce decree through mediation?
Yes. Mediation can help you reach agreements on modifications. You then work with an attorney to properly prepare the modification documents for court approval. This is typically faster and less expensive than filing motions and attending court hearings. The mediator helps you negotiate changes that work for both parties and, most importantly, for your children.
How is post-decree mediation different from the original divorce mediation?
Post-decree mediation is usually more focused and faster since you're modifying specific aspects of an existing agreement rather than creating one from scratch. Sessions often address targeted issues like schedule changes, holiday arrangements, or communication protocols.
What if my ex won't agree to mediation?
Many courts now require mediation before hearing modification motions. Even if mediation isn't required in your case, many people who are initially hesitant agree once they understand it's faster, cheaper, and less stressful than court. We can provide information to help explain the benefits to a reluctant co-parent.
Do we need lawyers for post-decree mediation?
Lawyers are not required for mediation, though some people choose to consult with an attorney before or after sessions. The mediator is neutral and cannot provide legal advice, but can help you understand what issues to consider and what information you might want to gather.
Is the mediated agreement legally enforceable?
Once you reach an agreement in mediation, you work with an attorney to prepare it as a stipulated modification to your decree. Once the court approves it, it becomes a legally binding court order. We facilitate the agreement — your attorney handles the legal documentation and court filing.
What about emergency situations?
If there are immediate safety concerns or urgent issues, the court system may be more appropriate. Mediation works best when both parties can engage in good-faith negotiation. During your free consultation, we can help you determine if mediation is right for your situation.
Related Minnesota mediation pages
Educational disclaimer
This page is for general educational purposes only and reflects the perspective of a mediator. It is not legal advice. Flannel People Mediation provides mediation services only and does not provide legal, financial, tax, or therapeutic advice. Every situation is different and we do not know yours. For advice about your specific circumstances, please talk to a qualified attorney.