The short answer
- What it is: parenting time mediation is a structured conversation with one neutral about the schedule itself — which nights, how exchanges work, how holidays and summers divide, and how the schedule changes later.
- What it costs: $995 per person, flat, at Flannel People Mediation. Filing a motion in an existing family case is a separate $100 court fee under Minnesota Statutes section 357.021.
- How long it takes: a private conversation with each parent, then one three-hour session together. Most parents are done in one to two weeks.
- What it does not do: the mediator does not decide anything, does not give legal advice, and does not replace the court. Minnesota courts still handle filings, orders, and modifications.
By Ryan McLaughlin, Mediator, MFA. Last updated August 2026.
Most people who search for a parenting time lawyer in Saint Paul are not really shopping for litigation. They have a schedule that has stopped working and they want someone to help them fix it. Hiring a lawyer is just the first option that comes to mind.
It is worth knowing the tradeoff before you make that call. When one parent retains counsel, the other almost always does too, and the conversation moves into a system designed around advocacy. That is the right system when you need protection or a judge. It is an expensive way to decide who drives to the Wednesday handoff.
Mediation runs the other direction. One neutral, both parents in the room, working through the calendar itself until there is something concrete to write down. You can still have an attorney review the finished document before anyone signs. Most people find that order — agree first, review second — costs far less than litigating their way to the same place.
Three ways a parenting time disagreement ends
The difference between these paths is not mainly the price. It is who ends up deciding your Tuesday.
| Path | Who decides | Cost | Timeline |
|---|---|---|---|
| Mediation with Flannel | The two of you | $995 per person, flat | Usually one to two weeks |
| Two attorneys negotiating | The two of you, through advocates | Hourly, not knowable up front | Months, depending on the other side |
| A motion in front of a judge | The judge | $100 to file, plus professional time | The court's calendar, not yours |
No Minnesota court publishes an average cost for any of this, so any figure you see online for a contested case is an estimate rather than a measurement. The $100 motion fee is set by Minnesota Statutes section 357.021. Everything past the filing fee is professional time, and professional time is driven by conflict.
How it works
- 1
Free 15-minute call
You tell me what is actually going on with the schedule. I tell you whether mediation fits. If it does not, I say so on that call.
- 2
A private conversation with each parent
Each of you talks to me separately first, plus a written intake. By the time you sit down together, I already know where the pressure is.
- 3
One three-hour session
Both parents, one neutral, the calendar itself. You leave with the schedule written down, specific enough to actually run.
If you are changing an existing court order, the agreement still goes to the court for approval, and you can have an attorney read it first. Neither of those runs on my calendar.
What actually gets decided
The reason parenting time conversations stall is almost never the big principle. It is the twenty small specifics nobody wrote down. A schedule that says “alternating weekends” and nothing else generates an argument roughly every eleven days.
Parents here usually work through some version of this list:
- The weekly rhythm — which nights, and whether it changes during the school year
- Exchanges — where, what time, who drives, and what happens when someone is late
- Holidays, birthdays, and school breaks, named specifically rather than “we’ll figure it out”
- Summer, camps, and travel, including how far ahead plans have to be shared
- Extracurriculars — who signs up, who pays, who takes them
- Communication: how you reach each other, how fast a reply is expected, and what goes in writing
- First right of refusal when a parent needs childcare
- How the schedule gets revisited as the kids get older, without starting from zero each time
The completeness is the point. A parenting plan that covers the boring specifics is what keeps you out of a fight in February.
Ready to sort out the schedule?
Fifteen minutes on the phone is enough to tell whether mediation fits your situation. If it does not, I will say so on that call.
Book a Free 15-Minute CallDirect answers people are usually looking for
What is the difference between custody and parenting time in Minnesota?
Custody generally refers to decision-making authority and where the children live. Parenting time is the calendar — the actual schedule of when the children are with each parent. Parents often need to work out both, and child custody mediation in Minnesota covers the decision-making half.
Can we change a parenting time schedule after the divorce is final?
Yes, and it is common. A schedule built for a five-year-old rarely survives middle school. See post-decree mediation for how changes after a final order work. Court approval may still be required.
Does mediation replace the court?
No. Mediation helps parents reach and organize an agreement. Minnesota courts still handle filings, orders, and modifications.
When mediation is not the right call
Mediation depends on both parents being able to speak freely and participate honestly. When there are safety concerns, an active order for protection, coercion, or a parent who will not disclose or engage, the process cannot do its job — and pretending otherwise does real harm.
In those situations, attorney guidance and court involvement are the appropriate path. Part of a neutral’s job is naming that early rather than billing through it.
Frequently asked questions about parenting time mediation
What is parenting time mediation in Minnesota?
Parenting time mediation is a structured conversation with a neutral mediator about the schedule itself — which nights the children are where, how exchanges happen, how holidays and school breaks divide, and what happens when the schedule needs to change. The mediator does not decide the schedule or give legal advice.
How much does parenting time mediation cost in Minnesota?
Flannel People Mediation works on a flat fee of $995 per person, so parents can plan around a predictable number instead of an hourly meter that rewards the conversation dragging out. Filing a motion in an existing family case costs $100 under Minnesota Statutes section 357.021, and that court fee is separate from what any mediator or attorney charges.
How long does parenting time mediation take?
Most parents are done in one to two weeks. The process is a private conversation with each parent first, then one three-hour session together. Court approval, if you are modifying an existing order, runs on the court's timeline rather than the mediator's.
Do I need a parenting time lawyer, or can we mediate?
Many parents start by searching for a lawyer because that is the familiar option. Mediation is a different path: instead of each parent hiring an advocate and negotiating through them, both parents work through the schedule together with one neutral. Parents can still have a lawyer review anything before signing, and that combination is often less expensive and less adversarial than litigating first.
What is the difference between custody and parenting time in Minnesota?
In Minnesota, custody generally refers to decision-making authority and where children live, while parenting time refers to the actual schedule — the calendar of when each parent has the children. Parents often need to sort out both. They are related but not the same question.
Can we mediate a parenting time change after the divorce is final?
Yes. Schedules that worked for a five-year-old often stop working for a twelve-year-old, and job changes, moves, and new relationships all put pressure on an existing arrangement. Post-decree parenting time mediation is common. Court approval may still be required to modify an existing order.
Do both parents have to agree to mediate?
Yes. Mediation is voluntary and it only works when both parents choose to participate. One parent usually reaches out first, and the second conversation is with the other parent. Nobody is bound to anything until both agree in writing.
When is parenting time mediation not the right fit?
Mediation may not fit when there are safety concerns, an active order for protection, coercion, or a parent who will not participate honestly. In those situations attorney guidance or court involvement is usually the more appropriate path, and saying so is part of the job.
Related Minnesota mediation pages
Educational disclaimer
This page is for general educational purposes only and reflects the perspective of a mediator. It is not legal advice. Flannel People Mediation provides mediation services only and does not provide legal, financial, tax, or therapeutic advice. Every situation is different and we do not know yours. For advice about your specific circumstances, please talk to a qualified attorney.