Podcast
Anatomy of Conflict
Deep dives into the science of conflict, human behavior, and how we navigate difficult relationships.
7 episodes
All Episodes
"I Feel Like You Don't Listen" Is Not a Feeling
Everyone told you to start with "I feel." Nobody mentioned that what comes next is almost never a feeling — it's a prosecution. Five studies, one fMRI machine, and a live tarantula prove your brain knows the difference even when you don't.
Why Your Apology Made Everything Worse
You said you were sorry. Their face went flat. Sound familiar? Research shows that the apology most of us default to — the partial, hedge-your-words, "I'm sorry you feel that way" version — actually drops resolution rates below what happens when you say nothing at all. This episode walks through the neuroscience and the data on what a real apology requires, and why it's the hardest easy thing you'll ever do.
I'm Bringing Tarot Cards to My Next Mediation
Cookies. Tarot cards. A jousting pillow. Why a 3rd object between two people changes the neuroscience of the room. Three episodes of expert interviews distilled.
Every Fight Is a Disguised Bible Story
40 years of high-stakes mediation. The lesson? The fight is never about what people say it's about. Arthur Pressman on why the best lawyers have nothing left to prove, why people only hear what supports their position, and why he writes the deal on one page before anyone leaves the room.
Claude AI Exposes Why Most Mediators Fail (And What the Best Ones Do)
I asked Claude AI what separates average mediators from the legends—from couples blowouts to high-stakes business fights. It revealed the exact mindsets and skills that win every conflict. If your fights never end, this will change everything.
5,000 Mediations and No Secret Sauce
Sam Ardery has mediated 5,000 cases. He still doesn't have the secret sauce — and that might be the most useful thing a beginner can hear.We talk about the 5% rule, why "it's the principle" is almost never true, why he refuses to call himself neutral, and what 5,000 reps actually teaches you about yourself.
86 vs 33: The Number That Predicts Your Relationship
The number that predicts divorce. The six-second window that saves arguments. The FBI model that works at your kitchen table. Three tools in 18 minutes.