How to choose the best divorce mediator in Minnesota.
Five questions, including the two almost nobody thinks to ask.
Nobody can honestly tell you they’re the best divorce mediator in the state, and you should be suspicious of anyone who does. What you can do is ask the questions that separate a mediator who will get you to an agreement from one who will take your money and hand you a page of notes.
Five questions to run at any mediator, including us
One chart every Minnesota mediation practice, by review count
Ten seconds to check the only number you can verify yourself
$1,695 per person, flat, if you pick us
Ask him the five questions
Ryan McLaughlin
The five questions
Run them at anyone, including us.
Each one has an answer you want to hear and an answer that should give you pause. Write both down before the call.
- 1
Costs the most, asked the least
Do they write the agreement, or do you leave with notes?
Plenty of mediators will run a good conversation, get you to genuine agreement on every issue, and then hand you a summary. A summary is not a document you can take anywhere. If nobody writes it down properly, you have paid for a productive afternoon.
What you want to hear
“You leave with a written agreement in hand.”
What should give you pause
“You'll leave with a summary of what you discussed.”
- 2
Whose interests point where
Flat fee, or hourly?
An hourly mediator gets paid more when it takes longer. That doesn't make them dishonest, most are not, but it does mean the fee structure and your interests point in opposite directions, and you'll feel it every time a session runs long. A flat fee moves the risk off you. Ask what the number is, ask what happens if you need more time, and get both answers before you book.
What you want to hear
“One price, quoted up front, covering the whole process.”
What should give you pause
“A retainer, billed against at an hourly rate.”
- 3
Neutral means neutral
Will they tell you what your settlement should be?
Some people want a mediator who will say “that's not enough, ask for more.” That is not mediation. The moment a neutral recommends a number, they have picked a side, and the other person in the room knows it, which is usually the moment the process stops working. A mediator's job is to help you both understand the options and decide. If you want someone advocating for you, what you want is a lawyer, and that's a legitimate thing to want.
What you want to hear
“I never recommend a number. I help you both find one you can live with.”
What should give you pause
“Any hint that they'll quietly take your side once you're alone.”
- 4
How mediation usually dies
What happens when one of you stalls?
Every divorce has a moment where one person goes quiet, cancels, or reopens something already settled. It is the single most common way mediation dies. A mediator who has done this a lot will answer this question immediately and concretely, because they have watched it happen dozens of times and have a practice for it. A mediator who hasn't will tell you it rarely comes up.
What you want to hear
“A specific answer, given without hesitation.”
What should give you pause
“That rarely happens.”
- 5
The only one you can verify yourself
How many people have actually finished this with them?
Everything above is a claim a mediator makes about themselves. This is the only question with an answer you can check yourself, in about ten seconds, without taking anyone's word for it. Look up their Google reviews and read the number, not the adjectives on their website, the count. Then read the one-star reviews first. Here is that number for every mediation practice in Minnesota, including ours.
Question five, answered
Minnesota divorce mediation practices, by Google review count.
Every dedicated mediation practice we could find in the state, pulled from Google’s own data. Our bar counts only the reviews left since November 2023; every other bar is that practice’s lifetime total. Even handicapped that way, we’re the most-reviewed one, by a wide margin. We are not the highest-rated. Two practices below us hold a perfect 5.0, and we’ve left their ratings on the chart where you can see them.
Competitor counts pulled from the Google Places API on August 31, 2026, across 30 searches covering both metros and sixteen Minnesota cities, 149 Minnesota businesses in total. Our count pulled from our own Google Business Profile on September 12, 2026, and includes only reviews dated November 1, 2023 or later; the listing’s lifetime total is 286. Review counts move; check ours yourself rather than taking this page’s word for it. Divorce law firms are a different category and are not on this chart. The largest of them, Heimerl & Lammers, has more reviews than we do.
When we’re the wrong call
A page like this is supposed to end with every reason to hire us.
Here are the situations where you shouldn’t.
You want someone on your side. We're neutral, and we stay neutral. If what you need is an advocate arguing for you, hire a family law attorney. That is not a worse choice. It's a different one.
There's been abuse, or you're afraid of the other person. Mediation assumes both people can speak freely in the same room. If that isn't true, it can do real harm. We screen for this at intake and will tell you if we think it's a problem.
One of you doesn't want to be there. Mediation is voluntary all the way through. If someone is showing up only because they were pressured into it, the agreement won't hold.
You need someone to file for you. We help you reach a written agreement. We don't complete or file court forms, and we don't give either of you legal advice about your rights.
Fifteen minutes, free, no pitch
Ask us the five questions.
Run the list above at us and see how the answers land. If we’re not right for you we’ll say so on the call. That happens most weeks.
Divorce mediation is $1,695 per person, flat. Most couples finish with a full written agreement in one to two weeks.