What happens in child custody mediation in Minnesota?

1. A private call with each of you. Separately, before anything joint. This is where I ask the questions that are hard to answer with your co-parent listening.
2. A written intake. Work schedules, school, activities, who's been doing pickups, what's working now.
3. The session, on Zoom. We go through the school-year schedule, summers, holidays and birthdays, how decisions get made, how you'll communicate, and what you'll do when you disagree. It's usually one session.

I keep the kids at the center of it, but I don't tell you what's best for them. You know your kids. My job is to make sure every piece gets discussed and nothing important is skipped because it was uncomfortable.

If custody or parenting time is contested in a filed case, § 518.619 says the court may set it for mediation. The statute says the purpose is to reduce acrimony and develop an agreement that supports the child's best interests, and that the mediator has no coercive authority. A few other details from that section:

• The mediator is appointed by the family court from its approved list, unless the parties stipulate to someone else, and must have at least 40 hours of certified mediation training.
• The proceedings are private, and the records aren't available as evidence in the dissolution.
• If you don't reach agreement, the mediator may recommend that the court order an investigation or other steps.

Courts also use Social Early Neutral Evaluation (SENE) for parenting disputes. That's different: a team of neutrals gives you feedback on how a court might see things (Rule 310.03, and the courts' ENE page).

Your agreement doesn't become an order until a judge adopts it. Under § 518.619, subd. 7, a custody agreement reached in mediation is discussed with your attorneys, if you have them, and can then go into the decree. Under § 518.1705, subd. 3, when both parents ask for a parenting plan, the court must use it instead of a custody order unless it makes detailed findings that the plan isn't in the child's best interests.

"Best interests" has a list of factors in § 518.17. Those are the factors Minnesota courts apply to custody and parenting time. How they apply to your family is a question for a licensed Minnesota attorney.

If you haven't agreed on custody or a schedule, § 518.157 requires both parents to complete at least eight hours of parent education. If domestic abuse is alleged, the court can't make you attend the same sessions.

And mediation isn't for every family. If there's abuse, the statutes and court rules above limit when a court can require mediation, and a licensed Minnesota attorney or a domestic abuse advocate can talk with you about your situation. A good mediator will tell you when it isn't a fit.